So this summer I made a decision to lessen my useage of makeup. Not because I hate it or despise it but simply because I like my face as the good lord made it to be. Now that’s not because I think I’m gorgeous but just because I accept this is my face. It’s perfectly imperfect and I’m 100% Gucci with that 🙆🏾. But let’s take it back and tell you how I got to were I am today.
From a young age I’ve always been very much aware of myself as an individual. I think a lot of that was due to the fact that I was very aware of other people around me. In my eyes I would see everyone the same; I could see the diversity and individuality in people but I’d always label them the same beautiful people. Even though that was a great thing that I did for others it was a double edged sword for me. For some reason that made me feel inferior it made me feel ugly. I’d look at the people I admired and put them on a pedestal which left me on the ground in despair of my looks.
It’s not hard for me to see the beauty in people. As far as I’m concerned, a being = beauty. Whether you have perfect clear skin, long straight hair, facial blemishes, over weight whatever it is you’re beautiful point blank period. You don’t need to be perfect to be beautiful you just need to be you.
So fast forward to my prom night it was the first real time I got to put on a full face of makeup. It wasn’t great if anything it was pretty poorly done now that I look back on it haha. But none the less I felt beautiful for the first time in my juvinile life. Everything about me on that day looked perfect. After that I was obsessed with makeup and wanting to improve what God gave me nothing natural about me was good enough to show the world.
As time went on things got worse I was pretty much in a viscous cycle of self loathing , dealing with inadequacy and body image issues (if I’m honest I still deal with this to this day just not with looks). At the time putting on make up was my sense of release it made me feel like I could look better and that I can improve my face and reach “perfection.
Truth be told even when I had the makeup on it didn’t make me feel any better it just reminded me how much I hated my looks and who I was as a person. Now I should highlight that makeup is not the problem wearing makeup is great but it should never be a clutch or a way to make you love yourself.
We should all love ourselves for who we are and recognise that the only beauty that really matters is that on the inside. Inside beauty is all about who you are as a person and how you treat others.
So what brought me to this conclusion was three things:
- Minimalism – no surprises here haha. I did my first declutter when I was about 17/18. Throughout the process I asked myself “does this make me happy, sad or nothing”. I did this for everything I owned and when it came to my make up collection I realised how uneasy I felt about. My mind said “yes it make up makes you happy” but my heart said ” that’s because you hate who truly are “. This is when I realised that it was a clutch or to be blunt a drug.
- Good company – we all know that saying keep good company. I have a very very small group of quality friends. They’re the kind of people that take you as you are and don’t try to change you . They’re the kind of people who make you feel good about who you are despite your flaws. They give you the freedom to be your authentic self with no judgements whatsoever as they know they are far from perfect and best of all they wear they’re hearts on their sleeve and show you that being human has nothing to do with being perfect.
- Self love – now in my eyes self love has very little to do with love itself. I think self love is more about self respect, self proactivity and self ownership. In order to love yourself you need to take control of who you are as a person stop giving away your time, energy and attention to people who don’t respect you, value you and appreciate you. Invest your time, energy and attention into things and people that help you to positively grow as a person. Accepting who are doesn’t mean you can’t change and grow but no successful growth or stance of self love ever came from hatred.
- Going makeup free- now the title of this blogpost is misleading. I’m not abstained from wearing makeup I wear it very loosely for occasions or when I feel like it. The reason I don’t wear it frequently is because I’ve grown to love the way I look. I don’t have perfect skin, I have laugh lines, dark circles , blemishes etc but I love my face regardless it’s who I am and I’m not going to hide that. I enjoy removing the makeup tbh haha
- Contemplating my own death– I know really morbid but this one concept has changed my entire life. I recognise that one day I’m going to be dead never to see the sun rise and set. I can’t afford to waste my time and energy on things that are fickle, meaningless and unfulfilling. I feel like our society lacks in urgency some of us feel as though we are entitled to seeing tomorrow we don’t realise just how short life is and we waste it on things that are futile. Life is gift and I don’t want to waste it fussing over my looks.
My journey to being content with myself has been a tough one and is far from over but I think one things for sure I care about this much about my looks 👌🏾and I care whole lot more about my capability and functionality as a human being.
Learn to Love yourself for the sake of your longevity, happiness and quality of life.
Ps I’d just like to clarify that makeup is not the problem it’s the abuse of it that is. For some reason our society and we as people like to associate our value with inanimate objects as way to measure our success, worth and life. The life of a human being is precious and a gift no object can ever put a value on your life that my friend is your job. *drops mic*